Opinion: Growing old includes the good, the bad and the unexpected

Illustration by Lauren Martin, The New York Times

Aging can be filled with experiences you never wanted to have, often failing to live up to past expectations, muses 83-year-old Roger Rosenblatt in his opinion piece for The New York Times. Humorous highlights are condensed below.

"Old age isn’t what the books promised it would be. Literature is littered with old people for whom the years have brought some combination of wisdom, serenity, authority and power — King Lear, the ageless priest in Shangri-La, Miss Marple, Mr. Chips, Mrs. Chips (I made that up), Dickens’s Aged P, crazy Mrs. Danvers. In fiction, old folks are usually impressive and in control. In life, something less.

"I can’t think of anyone who has come to me for wisdom, serenity, authority or power. People do come to sell me life insurance for $9 a month and medicines such as Prevagen, which is advertised on TV as making one sharper and improving one’s memory. Of course, that is beneficial only to those who have more things they wish to remember than to forget.

"One thing I need to remember is which day for which doctor. . . . On one day last week, I had a vascular sonogram in the morning, consulted my ophthalmologist in the afternoon, made an appointment with a retina specialist, spoke to my primary care physician about test results and put off my dentist. As a result of such activities, my vocabulary has increased. I now can say 'occlusion' — and mean it.

"I wrote a book called Rules for Aging 25 years ago. . . .The rules were less about aging than about living generally, one of the first being 'Nobody’s thinking about you.' . . . In old age that’s true in spades. . . . You disappear from the culture, or rather, it disappears from you.

"To be sure, old age has compensations. Grandchildren. Their company is delightful, partly because they think you have something useful to impart, if you could remember to impart it. Waitresses tend to treat you sweetly. Doormen and maintenance crews show respect. And there are positive or harmless activities for the over the hill. Women take up watercolors and form book clubs. Men find loud, if pointless, camaraderie in diners and on village benches all over the country. Hey, old-timer.

"My point is: Who ever expected to spend time wondering if Madison Beer is a beverage honoring a founding father? Who ever expected that one’s social circle would consist of Marie, who does blood work, and an M.R.I. technician named Lou? Who ever expected old age?"