Quick hits: Newspaper sitcom; free child care; inspiring cave cleanup; soybean field discovery; dark sky ruminating

Can a sitcom about journalism capture its 'grit, humanity, and relentless optimism'?

Keeping a local newspaper alive is one thing, but revitalizing one staffed with employees who list texting and tweeting as their most recent writing ventures is an entirely different story. Meet Peacock's new mockumentary, "The Paper," which depicts the life and times of the struggling Toledo Truth Teller newspaper and its quirky staff. "Members of the news community weren’t sure whether to laugh or cry," writes Gretchen A. Peck of E&P Magazine. "For publishers and editors. . . the [show] raises big questions: can a sitcom capture the grit, humanity, and relentless optimism of real journalism?" The trailer is here.

New Mexico will be the first state in the union to offer free child care to all its families, regardless of income. "The state has been working to lower child care care costs since 2019, when it created the Early Childhood Education and Care Department," reports Chabeli Carrazana of The 19th. The new policy rollout in November will allow all families access to the state’s child care assistance program without meeting eligibility criteria and will remove any copay requirements. Families are expected to save an average of $12,000 per child.

Hidden River Cave's kaleidoscope-like Sunset
Dome is a popular tourist attraction.

What was once a heavily polluted cave in Horse Cave, Ky., is now a point of community pride and a tourism draw. "For generations, the cave was all but lost to the town on top of it. Miles of caverns and waterways brimmed with sewage that sent a putrid stench up from the depths and across downtown," reports Hiroko Tabuchi of The New York Times. "The restoration of Hidden River Cave is one of the most remarkable examples of a cave cleanup. . . . Last year, 30,000 people, more than 10 times the town’s population, toured the cave."

Some ranchers prefer the beaverslide for stacking hay.
(Photo by Linda Teahon, Offrange)

No need to purchase fancy machinery to stack hay bales -- a beaverslide is much cheaper and simpler to own. "The haystacking device consists of a wide, sliding fork at the base of a ramp and a cable pulley system rigged to the ramp’s underside," explains Katie Hill for Offrange. "Ranchers use a team of horses or a motorized vehicle to pull one of the cables perpendicular to the beaverslide, which in turn hoists the fork up the ramp, bringing a giant pile of hay up with it. . . .At the top of the ramp, the hay falls to the other side, forming three-story piles that can reach 25 tons in weight."

It hadn't been seen or touched by humans for 2,000 years, but this summer, artifact hunter Ben McGhee unearthed the discovery of a lifetime: "A hoard of 51 Native American blades buried in a Missouri soybean field," writes Chris Bennett of Farm Journal. "Based on the location, and the lack of percussion flakes or hammer stones within immediate proximity, McGhee believes the cache was transported to its present location, close to the water’s edge, for trade access." Native Americans traded the blades, which could be more precisely carved into arrowheads.

Glacier National Park is an International Dark Sky Sanctuary. Visitors can see the Milky Way from St. Mary’s Glacier, pictured here. (Photo by Ray Stinson, National Park Service)

In places where the cover of night is treasured, skies filled with stars, glowing planets and the Earth's solitary moon light the way. For many people, dark skies offer a window into thoughtfulness and mystery. "There is a feeling of possibility, timelessness, and, potentially, of fear, in the night sky," writes Sarah Melotte of The Daily Yonder. Some rural places "claim the preservation of dark skies as a core value. They protect a visitor’s experience of wonder and mystery. . . There are 152 dark sky 'places' in the continental United States." Find dark skies here. 

Flora & Fauna: Flightless eagle mystery solved; beware of black-legged ticks; secret lives of plants; Pesto the Penguin

Bald eagle that was captured and believed to be ill. (Photo by
Wilson's Creek National Battlefield via The Guardian)

People thought this raptor was wounded because he couldn't fly. As luck would have it, this bird was not ill, but he had gobbled up his Thanksgiving dinner early. "Wildlife officials in Missouri rescued what they thought was an injured and flightless bald eagle, only to discover it had gorged itself on a roadkill raccoon and was 'too fat to fly,'" reports Richard Luscombe of The Guardian. "The eagle was released, completely healthy and full of energy, after a short period of 'rehabilitation' at the zoo’s wildlife hospital."
 
Among stretches of corn and beans in Midwestern Iowa, swaths of pollinator-loving plants and flowers grow. These "prairie strips" were sown by farmers and "they are part of a growing movement to reduce the environmental harms of farming and help draw down greenhouse gas emissions," reports Cara Buckley of The New York Times. "While giving fauna a much-needed boost and helping to restore the land. . . .The aim is to reduce nutrient runoff from cropland, and help birds and bees."

Black-legged ticks are small, wingless, bloodsucking arthropods that spread diseases, such as lyme and babesiosis, by latching onto wildlife or human hosts. "Lyme is the most commonly reported illness spread by ticks," reports Kevin Loria of The Washington Post. "But it is far from the only one: The black-legged ticks that carry Lyme can spread at least six different illnesses. Babesiosis is a parasitic illness, spread by Babesia microti parasites, which can live inside black-legged ticks. . . . It can be serious, especially for people who are immunocompromised."

Runnels the hound dog, reporting for duty.
(Texas A&M photo via Ambrook Research)

Livestock can die from bovine respiratory disease, which is notoriously difficult to detect. To help farmers avoid the pain and expense of losing cattle, scientists are exploring how canines can help identify BRD. "At Texas A&M University, a cross-discipline pilot study set out to discover whether working dogs, with their superior olfactory senses, could be used as early BRD detectors," reports Jesse Hirsch of Ambrook Research. "After many trials. . . researchers got up to 82% accuracy with one dog, and 65% with the other. But. . . the dogs didn’t fare nearly as well when given only two chances to distinguish between a BRD-infected swab and a clean one." 

Kate McCulloh

Flora have secret lives of their own. Although they can't ambulate, they find ways to move, morph and adapt to everything humans and Mother Nature "hurl their way," writes Kate McCulloh, an associate professor of botany at the University of Wisconsin. "Their complex physiology responds to each of these threats in often quite subtle ways. The solutions that plants employ differ among species, varying with the climate in which those species evolved."

Colorado mountain lions should be protected from hunts, writes Dan Ashe, a former director of the U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service, in his opinion for Writers on the Range. "Emerging science tells us that these apex predators aren’t the enemy, they’re allies. They are likely providing an important ecosystem service in checking the spread of chronic wasting disease, CWD, an existential threat to healthy deer and elk populations, by targeting animals weakened by the disease." Mountain lions should be left alone to "do their job as predators."

Pesto and his "short" parents. (Sea Life
Melbourne Aquarium photo via CNN News)

Taller and decidedly fluffier than his parents, "Pesto" the baby king penguin is adorable and famous. "Photos of Pesto – who is 90 centimeters tall (about three feet) – towering over his parents have gone viral online. He has also provided opportunities for people to learn more about penguins," reports Lilit Marcus of CNN News. "Although most people recognize the adult black-and-white birds, king penguins are born covered in brown feathers. Once they learn how to swim, they will begin shedding those feathers – a process known as fledging. . . . Pesto’s biological father, Blake, is one of the aquarium’s oldest and largest penguins. But he’s being raised by Tango and Hudson, younger penguins whom Sea Life keepers wanted to try out as parents."

Early week quick hits: Addressing mental health issues; finding funny stories; using lasers to make birds leave

Colorado Department of Agriculture photo via Successful Farming

Farming and ranching are two livelihoods that are tough on the human body and mind. For men and women in either or both professions, seeking help for mental stress can mean overcoming social stigmas and a lack of access. A new film, Legacy, from the Colorado Department of Agriculture and Colorado Farm Bureau aims to break down social barriers for farmers and ranchers who experience isolation and mental health issues, reports Lisa Foust Prater of Successful Farming. The film takes viewers into the stories of "several farmers and ranchers who share glimpses into their lives, including losing a loved one to suicide or facing their own struggles with mental health. . . .They speak candidly about the struggles faced by those working in agriculture and the difficulties with finding help." Watch the film here.

Cancer used to be a disease people mostly over 50 had to worry about. Now, many younger people are turning up with aggressive cancers, and researchers can't yet explain what has changed. "Adults in the prime of their lives, often otherwise outwardly healthy, are dying of cancers that appear to develop more quickly and be more deadly than in the past, for reasons that scientists cannot adequately explain, reports Dylan Scott of Vox. "Scientific authorities around the world see this as one of the most pressing questions for modern medicine."

Reading a funny book can make life sweeter.
(Adobe Stock photo)

One of The Rural Blog writers insists that the world needs more laughter. With that idea in mind, here are 22 books that could help you giggle, guffaw, chortle and even snort out loud. "The humor these authors embrace traverses the gamut, from sardonic to screwball, mordant to madcap, droll to deranged," report Dwight Garner, Alexandra Jacobs and Jennifer Szalai of The New York Times. "The critic Albert Murray understood that wit is power, and that knowing where the funny is takes us closer to the nub of things. Best of all, it's available to anyone. As Murray wrote, 'It is always open season on the truth.'"

As many rural hospitals and clinics have closed or limited services, getting medical care or chronic health treatment services has become an uphill battle for residents. The American Heart Association visited Alaska, Kansas, Kentucky, the Dakotas and West Virginia to shed light on rural health challenges and how residents and communities are working to overcome obstacles. Their exploration and discussions are presented in the docuseries, "Health Wanted: Find Care in Rural America." Click here for each state's episode.

Lasers can deter birds.
(Bird Control Group photo via SF)

Some Wisconsin farmers use lasers to keep wild birds away from their animals, reducing their chance of avian flu exposure. "When the human eye examines one of Craig Duhr's lasers at a Wisconsin farm, only a green dot is visible. But to birds, a variety of green beams and shifting patterns appear," reports Jonah Beleckis of Wisconsin Public Radio. Laser beams do not harm birds, but the birds "simply see the lasers as a threat and leave the area. . . . Wisconsin's agriculture department recommends farmers use biosecurity measures, such as lasers, to protect poultry flocks."

Maine Monitor analysis,
from State Fire Marshal data

Maine firefighters have the cool trucks and trademark hats, and some even have a station dog. But fighting fires is not what they spend most of their time doing. Amber Stone of The Maine Monitor reports, "A mere 4.5 percent of the 160,435 calls for service in 2022 were for fires, according to a Monitor analysis of State Fire Marshal data. Seventy percent of those calls were for emergency medical response. More than half of Maine's 338 registered fire departments are also licensed at some level to provide emergency medical services, according to Maine EMS, and more are considering doing so."

Loyal Jones, interpreter of Appalachian culture, dies at 95

Loyal Jones

Loyal Jones, whose Kentucky pastor called him "the indefatigable and beloved interpreter of Appalachian life and culture," died Saturday morning in Black Mountain, N.C. He was 95.

The author and co-author of several books and dozens of published articles about Appalachian culture, people and humor, Jones wrote about the resiliency of mountain people and their culture and said the region should be judged by its own values—family, land, and traditionalism—rather than mainstream values of accumulation, wealth and power, said Ron Eller, former director of the Appalachian Center at the University of Kentucky.

When he received the top award from the East Kentucky Leadership Foundation in 2017, Jones said, "We have a viable culture here. We have a lot of problems, but we have a lot of people with great values."

Jones, a native of western North Carolina, held degrees from the University of North Carolina and Kentucky's Berea College, where he ran its Appalachian center in 1970-93. It is named for him. Jones "had been diagnosed with cancer, and earlier this year had decided that he didn’t wish to continue treatment," center Director Chris Green, who is editing Jones's memoirs, said on Appalnet, the list-serve for Appalachian academics, whose discipline Jones helped create. "Despite this, he kept up correspondence, worked on his memoir, and was only occasionally down with his afflictions."

The Rev. Kent Gilbert, pastor of Union Church in Berea, wrote, "He loved good dry and wry humor, music of all kinds, a lively conversation, and was a craftsman, musician, and an appreciator of the arts in every form. Truly a man of many talents! A fierce champion for those whom the world had handed a bad hand, he worked hard against the causes of poverty and injustice. If he had impatience with anything it was the too-evident arrogant hypocrisy of politicians who said much but did little to improve other’s lives."

George Brosi, another Appalachian academic who lived in the same retirement community as Jones, wrote on Appalnet, "Nobody devoted more of their life to Appalachia than Loyal Jones, and he contributed as much as anyone to Appalachian studies. He set the tone for our field with humor, grace, integrity, erudition, and wisdom."

Kingsolver 'internalized shame' of her rural roots, delaying Appalachian novel; now an 'ambassador between worlds'

Barbara Kingsolver (Guardian photo by Jessica Tezak)

Now that she has won this year's Pulitzer Prize for fiction, and the UK's Women's Prize for Fiction for Demon Copperhead, Barbara Kingsolver tells Lisa Allardice, chief books writer for The Guardian, “I understand that my whole life I’ve been wanting to write the great Appalachian novel.”

But Kingsolver says it took her some time to get around to it, partly because she had “internalized the shame” of her rural Kentucky upbringing that preceded graduating Phi Beta Kappa at DePauw University in Indiana and many years in Tucson before she amd her second husband moved to southwest Virginia, Allardice reports. "Now she feels she has not 'just the right but the duty' to represent her community. Kingsolver said, “The news, the movies, TV, it’s all manufactured in cities about city people. We’re nothing. We don’t see ourselves at all. And if we do show up, it’s as a joke, the hillbillies. We are the last demographic that progressive people still mock with impunity.”

Allardice cites "one memorable passage" in which Demon Copperhead lists the insults thrown at Appalachians: “Hillbilly, rednecks, moonshiners, ridge runners, hicks. Deplorables.” The last one refers to a 2016 comment by her friend Hillary Clinton, referring to half of Donald Trump supporters as “a basket of deplorables” because they were “racist, sexist, homophobic, xenophobic, Islamophobic.” Clinton apologized the next day for what she said was an exaggeration; Kingsolver's "agent and editor, both based in New York, questioned whether she should include it," Allardice reports, giving her answer: “I decided, yes, I’m leaving it in because I want this to make the reader uncomfortable.” Kingsolver said she sees bumper stickers in Washington County, Virginia, saying "I'm a deplorable." 

“I understand why rural people are so mad they want to blow up the system,” she told Allardice. “That contempt of urban culture for half the country. I feel like I’m an ambassador between these worlds, trying to explain that if you want to have a conversation you don’t start it with the words, ‘You idiot’.”

A Walmart parking lot pole in Maine has become famous. Why? Because drivers keep hitting it.

The Walmart pole in Auburn, Maine (Photos by Makayla Irene Roberts and Lexi Doak)

There's just no explaining why cats purr, what causes lightning strikes, and why drivers keep hitting this pole in a Walmart parking lot in Maine, reports Steve Annear of The Boston Globe. "One theory is that the bright yellow pole is secretly a magnet, using its powers to pull cars directly into a collision course. Others have suggested that the ordinary stop sign bollard would make a perfect plot for a Stephen King novel, given its location in his home state of Maine, about an object possessed by the spirit of a disgruntled driver seeking revenge."

True, the actual reason "people have repeatedly hit the notorious road marker are probably more mundane: poor design, distracted and impatient drivers, motorists miscalculating a turn," Annear opines. "But that’s poor fodder for the memes, jokes, and buzz surrounding the Pine Tree State’s newest — if unofficial — tourist attraction. . . .The pole stands in a parking lot near the front of a Walmart store in Auburn."

There's also no explaining the creative things humans do. "People are now driving to the sign, hopefully without incident, to take selfies with it. A 9-year-old girl went viral after asking her mother to make a pit stop at Walmart for her birthday and sharing a picture online," Annear adds. "Someone made a five-minute YouTube documentary about the history of the many collisions. And a Facebook group dutifully documenting the crashes, appropriately named 'The Auburn Walmart Pole Strikes Again,' has ballooned to more than 7,000 fans and followers."

Even in death, the pole gets attention. "The pole’s treacherous reputation even earned it a mention in a Maine woman’s obituary," Annear writes. "When Janet Morse died in 2021, her family didn’t ask for floral arrangements. Instead, friends were directed to 'donate to the removal of the notorious Auburn Walmart pole that has led to the needless destruction of countless vehicles.'”

Auburn Police Chief Jason Moen told Annear that police have responded to an astounding 130 crashes at the scene since 2020. And like many villains, "the infamous Walmart pole" has an accomplice. Moen said there is actually a second pole that has also been involved in crashes. Both are at the end of parking rows near the front of the store. Moen told Annear, "We’ve had cars roll on their side after hitting the pole, somehow one car ended up on top of the pole (we could never figure out how that one actually happened.) . . . Their magnetic pull is apparently too strong."

Annear continues, "The poles have been painted bright yellow, and surrounded by concrete barriers. According to News Center Maine, bright red-and-white lights were added to the stop signs. . . . Some are skeptical it will help. Nothing seems to, after all. . . . Just a few days later, someone reportedly smashed into the Jersey barriers surrounding one of the poles. The pole itself, now capable of causing damage without sustaining it, appeared unharmed."

And finally, "A manager at the store contacted by the Globe said they couldn’t talk about the sign’s apparent powers of attraction," Annear added. "And referred a reporter to Walmart’s media relations team, which did not return a request for comment."

Quick hits Friday: Why we love Pigpen, drone images we might rather not see, a book for Black History Month . . .

Illustration by Ivan Brunetti, Astra

“I can tell just where you’ve been all week from the dirt on your clothes,” Charlie Brown tells a consternated Pigpen proceeding to rattle off a series of dusty locations. Why do some of us love Pigpen so much? Here's the dirt.

An Opinion from Claire Carlson: "What The New York Times Got Wrong About 'Rural Rage'" from The Daily Yonder.

Drones let us see some things maybe we would rather not see. Like how close that great white shark is to your kick board. “Sometimes they’ll swim right under a surfer, but they don’t circle back." How reassuring.

Getting deeper into Black History Month with an almost 100-year-old book.

It's still winter and SAD is a real thing. Add some cheer to your week by helping Tulsa Zoo name their super-sweet African penguin. "The Good Stuff" is a newsletter; you might want to subscribe.

Spring Break offers rest, rejuvenation, and perhaps travel to some rural locations.

A Marine Mammal Program dolphin

In her youth, Blue was a standout mine-hunter for the U.S. military. But at 57, Blue is one of the oldest dolphins in the U.S. Navy Marine Mammal Program. Navy scientists are now delving into geriatric marine mammal medicine. The pursuit may help not only the Navy’s animals but also wild ones — and, perhaps, even for people.

Words matter. When marketing your farm to consumers, keep all the good things in mind. 

Deception Pass in Washington State ranked fifth most beautiful U.S. state park. Go beyond the bridge: bays, lakes, and beaches.

The James Webb Space Telescope is discovering distant clusters of stars that formed surprisingly early—presenting new mysteries about how the universe evolved.

Quick hits: E-bikes, 'old-time socialism', phases of the moon, your brain on music, a pain in the neck and more . . .

Electric bikes are awesome! Until . . .
(Illustration by Anna Haifisch, The New Yorker)

The wind whooshes through your hair,
As nature goes zooming past.
Until the fatal moment,
When your E-bike runs out of gas.

Iowa editor Art Cullen shows us how Americans might be able to get on a plane and actually arrive at their destination without becoming Cuba in his piece "Gimme some of that old-time socialism" in the Storm Lake Times Pilot.

Learn about the phases of the moon, and discover what a murmuration of starlings looks like as it flies over a waxing crescent moon at dusk.

Still working on 2023 resolutions? Oliver Burkeman, author of Four Thousand Weeks: Time Management for Mere Mortals, has some ideas. Here's his interview with Caroline Mimbs Nyce of The Atlantic.

Dumbledore's thoughts on music: “Ah, music," he said, wiping his eyes. "A magic beyond all we do here!” ― J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone. Learn more about your brain on music.

Khan, the rescued ocelot (Photo via Amazon video)

Returning a "most ridiculously cute" ocelot to its home in the Peruvian Amazon.

It's a pain in the neck. That describes a lot of things. This article addresses the actual pain.

Reading is the answer. Here are some New York Times picks.

February is around the bend. Don't get caught without a Groundhog Day celebration plan.

Are you monumentally busy, or just profoundly disorganized? (If that feels like a personal attack, read this.)

Former ag secretary says he was 'the most assaulted Cabinet member in history,' by food when it became issue

Dan Glickman, who was a Kansas congressman
before becoming U.S. secretary of agriculture,
checked out a wheat field. (Photo via Politico)

Why would the secretary of agriculture be "the most assaulted Cabinet member in history," as Dan Glickman, who held the office under Bill Clinton, writes in Politico Magazine? Because food is easy to throw.

"I have never heard of any past agriculture secretaries being subjected to the same volume of projectiles as I was during my time at USDA. To my knowledge nobody has had any memory of a Cabinet member who came close to my record," writes Glickman, a congressman before and a movie-industry lobbyist after his time at the Agriculture Department, from 1995 to early 2001. 

At the time, "There was a large debate about organic food. Activist groups were energized on food issues, and for whatever reason, I bore the brunt of it," Glickman writes. "I had all sorts of things tossed at me . . . organic seeds by naked men and women in Rome, bison guts in Montana and tofu pies in D.C. It turns out people really care about their food. In a way, I think my career was a preview of the incivility that would eventually engulf our politics; only instead of barrages of hateful tweets and public harassment, I got food thrown in my face."

The job is less risky now, at least in a physical sense. "In the years that followed my tenure at USDA, Cabinet members’ security increased, so I’m sure Cabinet members, including the Agriculture secretary, are subject to much less of these kinds of attacks now."

Glickman is a fellow of the Bipartisan Policy Center. His entertaining piece is excerpted from his new book, Laughing at Myself: My Education in Congress, on the Farm, and at the Movies.

An Oxford comma and an oxymoron walk into a bar . . .

Many of us who deal with words for a living will get smiles from this clever list of grammar-and-style quips modeled on an old joke format. Jim Cook, former editor of The Parsons Sun in Kansas, posted it on Facebook. Retired Associated Press photographer Cliff Schiappa sent it to Connecting, a daily email newsleter for AP retirees and friends, saying of Cook, "I have no idea if he created it, or just forwarded it, but it sure is fun!" Yes, and it would be a good handout for journalism classes.

• An Oxford comma walks into a bar where it spends the evening watching the television getting drunk and smoking cigars.
• A dangling participle walks into a bar. Enjoying a cocktail and chatting with the bartender, the evening passes pleasantly.
• A bar was walked into by the passive voice.
• An oxymoron walked into a bar, and the silence was deafening.
• Two quotation marks walk into a “bar.”
• A malapropism walks into a bar, looking for all intensive purposes like a wolf in cheap clothing, muttering epitaphs and casting dispersions on his magnificent other, who takes him for granite.
• Hyperbole totally rips into this insane bar and absolutely destroys everything.
• A question mark walks into a bar?
• A non sequitur walks into a bar. In a strong wind, even turkeys can fly.
• Papyrus and Comic Sans walk into a bar. The bartender says, "Get out -- we don't serve your type."
• A mixed metaphor walks into a bar, seeing the handwriting on the wall but hoping to nip it in the bud.
• A comma splice walks into a bar, it has a drink and then leaves.
• Three intransitive verbs walk into a bar. They sit. They converse. They depart.
• A synonym strolls into a tavern.
• At the end of the day, a cliché walks into a bar -- fresh as a daisy, cute as a button, and sharp as a tack.
• A run-on sentence walks into a bar it starts flirting. With a cute little sentence fragment.
• Falling slowly, softly falling, the chiasmus collapses to the bar floor.
• A figure of speech literally walks into a bar and ends up getting figuratively hammered.
• An allusion walks into a bar, despite the fact that alcohol is its Achilles heel.
• The subjunctive would have walked into a bar, had it only known.
• A misplaced modifier walks into a bar owned by a man with a glass eye named Ralph.
• The past, present, and future walked into a bar. It was tense.
• A dyslexic walks into a bra.
• A verb walks into a bar, sees a beautiful noun, and suggests they conjugate. The noun declines.
• A simile walks into a bar, as parched as a desert.
• A gerund and an infinitive walk into a bar, drinking to forget.
• A hyphenated word and a non-hyphenated word walk into a bar and the bartender nearly chokes on the irony.

Wife's humor column in rural daily costs associate pastor his job at local Baptist church

UPDATE, Aug. 1: After the issue was debated at a church business meeting covered by Oglesby, Thomas formally resigned, effective Aug. 8.

A humor column in a Kentucky newspaper that made fun of the Southern Baptist Convention's opposition to the Boy Scouts of America decision to admit gay members, even referring to the convention as “Shiite Baptists,” could cost the writer's husband his job as an associate pastor and minister of music at First Baptist Church of Madisonville, an SBC congregation, Savannah Oglesby reports for The Messenger of Madisonville (Wikipedia map).

Angela Thomas, a regular columnist for the daily paper, wrote: “Some might assume that because the Boy Scouts have addressed the issue, it must mean that Scout packs are filled with 10-year-old boys insisting on wearing their Scout caps at a rakish tilt and over-accessorizing their uniforms. … Sexuality doesn’t come up and isn’t relative to typical Scouting activities but now, thanks to Southern Baptists, the parents of little innocent Scouts everywhere are having to have The Talk. The Boy Scouts of America has been forced to confront this issue and cannot hide behind the freedom granted to religious organizations like the Southern Baptist Convention to condemn certain behaviors they deem unacceptable and excluded people based on their interpretation of the Bible.”

In addition to the Scouts, Thomas wrote, the convention also rejects "the Democratic Party, Disney, the TeleTubbies, and any Baptists that aren’t Southern," Thomas wrote. "Southern Baptists have little by little abandoned public schools and civic organizations. They are too sanctimonious to participate in Easter egg hunts and trick-or-treating. Santa and the Easter bunny are simply the devil in disguise and cable television and the Internet are his playground. The Boy Scouts are his evil minions."

Thomas told Oglesby that the church asked the writer's husband, Bill Thomas, to resign, and he declined, sending "a letter requesting more dialogue with the personnel committee. We haven’t heard an official response back from that, and that was on Monday." The newspaper couldn't reach the pastor for comment. Thomas said he husband was asked about the column and replied, "I did read it, I agreed with what she said and I don’t censor what my wife does." Oglesby's story concluded, "She said a celebration of her husband’s 10 years of service at the church was scheduled for July 7, but for now, the event has been canceled."

The Messenger, which has a pay-per-view site that can be accessed here, has received two letters to the editor, one criticizing the column and one supporting it.

Columnist: What if tables were turned on oil and gas execs who want to keep fracking chemicals secret?

Last week, Joe Blundo, a columnist for The Columbus Dispatch, wrote a humorous column that took direct aim at the way Ohio's legislators wrote legislation to allow natural-gas drillers to keep secret from the public potentially hazardous chemicals they pump into rock formations to release natural gas -- a process known as hydraulic fracturing.

Blundo's column takes the nature of a long joke. It begins: "A 'fracking' executive, a state legislator and an oil-and-gas executive walk into a bar." He likens the "secret-keeping" to not disclosing if peanuts are an ingredient in the highly allergic legislator's meatloaf, for example. There's more. Blundo's column can be read by clicking here. An explanation of the bill under discussion is here.

Paper localizes the Twelve Days of Christmas list

In a recession, the thought of Christmas shopping may produce more anxiety, but that shouldn't keep reporters from doing holiday features, and may be all the more reason to do them. One of the oldest is the cost of the items in "The Twelve Days of Christmas," but if localized it can be a fresh story.

The Lebanon Democrat reminded its readers that Wilson County, Tennessee, can provide everything they need to make the 12 days perfect, and for a whole eight-tenths of 1 percent less than the cost calculated in 2007. J.R. Lind reports for that the gifts would cost the recipient's chivalrous (or excessively desperate) "true love" $64,376.18 if bought locally.

Among the more expensive gifts are 12 partridges in a pear tree (one per day), which run a full $11 more in 2008 than 2007. Two turtle doves for 11 days straight cost $220 more this year, as well as the four calling birds, which run $1 more per bird this year. But on the third, fifth and sixth days of Christmas "True Love" can save a small bundle. Lind reports that Publix in Lebanon is selling 30 French hens for $300 less than in 2007, and golden rings are down by $19, saving $760. Finding six geese a-laying is particularly troublesome for True Love, who could easily just poach 42 wild geese, Lind writes, but "poaching wild geese is not really in the spirit of the holidays and we wouldn't want True Love to end up in the Criminal Justice Center his sales tax dollars are funding." Even after paying $1,255.80 for them at the Kroger in Lebanon, he saves more than $200.

In the latter days of the celebration, seven swans a-swimming become the biggest purchase of them all, setting True Love back $42,000 for 42 electric swan light-ups. (Guess Lind couldn't find any other type of swan in the county, just east of Nashville.) Eight maids a-milking all earn minimum wage, which increased this year to $6.55, so True Love uses $2,096 there, but as Lind writes, "Explaining to his girlfriend why he hired eight women to milk cows in the living room for five days is True Love's problem." Nine ladies dancing, ten lords a-leaping (substitute county commissioners here), eleven pipers piping and the final twelve drummers drumming equal a cool $13,360. Read the details here.