Hi, there! Without phone books, getting to know your rural neighbors can take planning; maybe even a yard sale

Yonder image by Xandr Brown (Photos by Unsplash and Canva)

Yesterday the Rural Blog endorsed calling people up on the phone as a refreshing way to build rural connections. But to call someone, you at least need to know their phone number. "How do we get to be good neighbors to those whose paths never cross our own?" asks Donna Kallner of The Daily Yonder, "Once upon a time, if you knew someone’s last name, you could look them up in the phone book to call when their dog was in your yard or a package was delivered to your porch by mistake. . . . But now, how do you even know when is a good time to introduce yourself?"

Perhaps starting with the basics is best, and note that it's the effort that counts. Kallner has these suggestions:

Smile and wave. Whether you’re in your yard, on your deck, walking to the mailbox, shoveling snow, mowing the lawn, in your vehicle, or on your bicycle – smile and wave at everyone. A cheerful greeting is never wasted, even on people just passing through. . . . Once you can recognize each other, it’s easier for one of you to pull up and introduce yourself. Keep it brief and casual: I’m so-and-so and I live at the place with the ______. I can see you’re busy but I wanted to say hello and introduce myself.

Offer your number. Anyone used to living where people draw curtains for privacy might need a little space to acclimate to a rural neighborhood. So unless you want them to start running background checks on you, don’t lead off with offers to watch their kids or pick up their mail. However, you can offer your cell phone number and a “feel free to call or text if you have any questions." They may not seem ready to be all-in as neighbors – yet – and let them set the pace for building this new relationship.

Need to know. There’s a fine line, sometimes, between helpful information and thinly veiled criticism or the kind of gossip that makes a neighbor wonder what you’re telling others about them. . . . But if you’re planning a big party, stop by to invite the neighbors to join you and to assure them the music will end at 10 p.m. . . . And if you’ve given someone permission to hunt on your land, let the neighbors know there may be a strange vehicle parked at a strange place at odd hours.

Join a neighborhood group. Whether you have questions to ask or advice to offer, meetings in real life and online groups or message boards are surprisingly good ways to connect with your community. Review and adhere to the rules of engagement for online groups, and the Golden Rule in all situations.

When neighbors aren’t people. Non-resident owners aren’t all cottage people. Farmland changes hands. Tracking down a phone number for forest cropland, family trusts, limited liability corporations, and other ownership entities isn’t easy. One way to do that is by using an app that integrates public records and maps. For example, OnX Hunt is a GPS mapping app that shows property boundaries. Snail mail isn’t the fastest way for a neighbor to report a concern to a non-resident owner, but at least it’s something.

If all else fails, hold a yard sale. Nothing draws curious neighbors like putting artifacts from your life up for sale. . . . what better way could there be to get to know folks than to hold up a find and say, “There must be a story that goes with this”?

Some final thoughts: "In some rural neighborhoods, showing up with baked goods to introduce yourself is still exactly the right thing. . . . Watching out for others is in the DNA of rural people. If it takes a little more effort to get acquainted with your neighbors, it’s worth it."